Trying For Number Two

It’s been almost 9 months since my last blog post…oops! Time has flown by on one hand, but on the other it has gone very slow. I could have grown a baby in that time, but sadly that’s not the case, but not for want of trying.

In fact we are now entering our tenth month of ‘trying for number two’ and although I never thought it would be straightforward (it took us 6 months with Pippa), we’ve entered a few obstacles along the way.

Once you have your first baby, they barely have to hit their first birthday before the “are you going to have another one?” Questions start. By the time Pippa was one I still only felt like I’d just had a baby and thought that maybe by the time she was 3 I’d be able to cope with another but actually as time went on I felt that maybe 2.5 years would be just right. However, by now I was on methotrexate injections for my arthritis which I then needed to come off of, and be off of for six months, before we could even start trying. So in January 2017 I came off of my methotrexate. Of course I was also back on the pill so I continued this until June as the risks to a pregnancy and baby whilst methotrexate is still in your system are very high. Then July came around and we were all set to go.

By mid-August I had been in so much pain for weeks (sharp stabbing pains) in my side that one night it got so bad I called 111. I was sent for scans and discovered that I had ‘multiple uterine cysts’ but the GP couldn’t tell me anything about them so I went to see a consultant gynecologist privately. He was able to advise that my pain was from my ovaries trying to ovulate (unsuccessfully) and the cysts were due to the uterine lining not growing and shedding as it should and once I started ovulating normally again it should be fine. He put me on two cycles of Clomid and off I went.

Just before I was due to take the clomid, my smear test came back with grade 3 severe dyskaryosis which meant I had to then have a colposcopy and LLETZ treatment to remove the pre-cancerous cells. Just another bump in the road!

When I then got round to taking the clomid, although the clomid made me ovulate, my cycles were still all over the place and key things were still wrong so I took matters into my own hands. I was taking various vitamins and supplements, made diet changes, eating certain foods at certain times in my cycle, started having acupuncture and took up yoga again. I also went back to my GP, armed with all my cycle info and she too was a bit confused so sent me for blood tests, although warning me they won’t do anything until it has been a year.

Well my blood results showed that I have low progesterone, something I thought may be the issue. Besides making you ovulate, it also builds up your lining for the egg to implant and keeps it alive until the placenta takes over. The lack of progesterone means that even if I did conceive, I would likely miscarry.

I’ve now been scheduled to have another blood test during my next cycle but until then have been researching what I can be doing to increase progesterone naturally. Our food bill has increased significantly with all the organic food and meat I’m now only eating as the addition of estrogen and other hormones that are injected into many animals to produce meat and diary products is then making its way into me. Something I don’t need!

I also have an appointment today with a private gynecologist specialising in fertility in the hope she can advise how to get my progesterone back up again as soon as possible instead of wasting time over the next couple of months waiting for the NHS GP to even consider doing anything.

I know I’m very lucky to even have one child and I can’t imagine the heartache some people go through before they can have their family. However once you have one, the visions of growing and completing your family are just as strong. We’d ‘decided’ a 2.5 – 3 year age gap would be ideal but as we pass that, I now find myself getting nervous about the age gap between Pippa and her little brother or sister growing as each month passes and we’d love to make her a big sister. Such a silly thing, but something you just assume you’ll be able to decide!

I’m not going to share this post, but I thought I would document it here for anyone that may stumble across it and I’ll update on progesterone gate as and when I can!

Pippa’s Weekly Wardrobe

Now that Pippa can actually fit into newborn clothes rather than ‘small baby’ or ‘tiny baby’ I’ve been in my element buying endless little outfits for her. As much as I love a baby in a babygrow, baby leggings are also too cute to ignore! Here are some of her outfits from this week:
1. Pink polka dot romper, M&S. My mum bought this for Pippa when she was born and she just about fits into it now!

2. These heart joggers are from Primark and are just so cute! They came as a set of two with a plain pink pair and I’m definitely going to have to go out and re-buy them in a few sizes I think! 

3. A simple little outfit of pink leggings from H&M and a striped bodysuit. The leggings have feet in them too which is handy as we all know how much of a pain baby socks are!

4. I bought both the leggings and top before Pippa was born. I couldn’t resist the top for Baby G from F&F at Tesco, even if it was for a boy and the leggings came in another set from H&M but they make a super cute set together. She does look slightly like a boy but I quite like the tomboy look! 

38 Weeks – Welcome to the World Baby G!

 38 weeks pregnant baby 
At 38+4 weeks on the 19th August we welcomed our beautiful baby girl, Pippa Rae Gillan into the world and here she is!


My birth journey started at 8am on the 18th when we arrived at the hospital for my induction. I was surprisingly calm and I think more excited than nervous and just ready for whatever would be thrown at me. I was also greeted by an old school friend who was a senior midwife and she came for a long chat with me to put me at ease! 

As my platelets had come back low again from the blood tests the previous week, I had to have some more and wait for the results before they could proceed. If they continued to be below 100 (I think they were around the 80 mark) there were questions over what they could and couldn’t do regarding cesarean and epidural. By 3pm the results were back and although they weren’t above 100 the consultant had decided it was safe to go ahead and the propess pessary was inserted. 

I started to feel quite crampy quite soon after and as we took a walk around the hospital grounds I could feel pain in my back too. I was in my own private room as they wanted to keep a close eye on baby so I was on the monitor a lot of the time. It showed I was having regular tightenings but they weren’t painful at this point. By 11pm Harry headed home to get some rest and I attempted to get some too. I still felt quite crampy so couldn’t really sleep and was constantly being monitored and then the cramps started coming in waves and getting more and more painful. At this point (3am) I called Harry to come back in thinking things were on the move…ha! One midwife asked me to rate my pain from 1-10 and i was sure it was at 8…needless to say she didn’t say anything in response!

Once Harry arrived I put on the TENS machine and my hypnobirthing music and was managing to breathe through the contractions. At 5am I had a show and lost my mucus plug along with the pessary which was all pretty vile! I was then assessed and found to be 2cm dilated so could be wheeled through to the delivery room!

Once there, one of the midwives ran me a bath whilst coaching me to breathe through the contractions. This was great and really relaxed me. It was then decided at about 7am that they would break my waters so I moved onto the gas and air – amazing! I pretty much laughed my way through the whole procedure! H was even able to see the baby’s head at this point which I thought was amazing, I’m not sure he agreed!

This seemed to move things along pretty quickly and before long the contractions were getting very intense and I wouldn’t move far from the gas and air! It was at this point I realised that my number 8 on the pain scale earlier was actually about a 2! It even got to the point where I felt I needed to push which worried me but the midwives assured me that it was because the baby was so low. 

The next stage of the induction was then the drip however I was advised by numerous people to have an epidural before they put the drip in so I refused it until the epidural arrived! It was suprisingly painless and I was soon ‘loving life’ (direct quote there!). It actually only worked on one side of my body but having half my body in pain was much better than the whole thing. 

Time seemed to go by super quick once the epidural and drip were in and I was then assessed at 4pm and told I was fully dilated so we would begin pushing at 5. I couldn’t believe it and we counted down the minutes until 5pm. I was still feeling contractions so was able to feel when I needed to push which was good however the baby’s heart rate kept dropping when I was pushing so the midwives kept running off to consult the more senior staff. After half an hour it was decided intervention was needed and a man walked in and started setting up some equipment without any explanation! I got really worried but eventually he explained it was a ventouse, which although I didn’t really want, was a better option than forceps! 

It turns out baby’s head was just there but kept dipping back in when I pushed so it didn’t take much suction on the ventouse and the head was out. I was then told to wait for the next contraction and the body would be  out. At this point we heard a tiny cry! I couldn’t believe it! They then said not to wait and just push, next thing I knew she was on my chest! (After H told me she was a boy, mistaking her umbilical cord for something else!) I couldn’t stop crying, to the point the midwife had to ask if I was ok and whenever I heard her cry for the rest of the evening I would burst into tears. 

She weighed a tiny 5lb 10oz and was so perfect. I was then wheeled up to the postnatal ward where I spent the night next to a very quiet and peaceful Pippa… If only that continued!