One Year!

*only 2 months late but I had written it just hadn’t got round to posting until now…oops!

I think this month has been the biggest change in Pippa yet and I think it’s mostly down to the fact she’s no longer a baby but a toddler! She started walking on her own about a week before her first birthday, mainly just up and down our living room but as the week went on she got more and more confident and was then walking more and more. She wasn’t so steady outside and we had to be nearby for her to feel safe but once she mastered it, that was it, she was off! And she hasn’t stopped since!

come on mum!
She’s also now become so independent and can really make it known what she does or doesn’t want! She will often take my hand and lead me to what she wants or where she wants to go. Along with shaking her head for no, she can also now say yes, which makes things a lot easier when trying to find out what she wants! But it also means we can communicate much better which is just lovely. Some of her other words are ‘dog’ and ‘car’ and she loves barking (usually at any animal that resembles the size of a dog!) and looking at the neighbours dog when it’s in the garden. Her Childminder also has a dog which she loves.  

I think it’s fair to say Pippa is turning into a real little girl now too. She loves to brush her hair which is so cute and if I’m getting ready for work in the morning she’ll copy whatever I’m doing with my hair or make up. She already has her own hairbrush, I’m going to have to get her some make-up brushes soon haha! She absolutely loves playing tea parties and will get all her tea cups out and her singing pink teapot and will pour herself and I a cup of tea, ‘shhhhh’ sounds included when she’s pouring and slurping when she’s drinking! She is also always singing! Obviously just babbles but she has a little musical tune to them and has started to sing her little babbles to familiar nursery rhymes and songs. She’s slightly obsessed with the ‘Bing bong song’ from Peppa Pig which we have to watch at least 3 times a day on YouTube and she’ll sing ‘ding ding ding ding’ whenever she wants to watch it! 

Pippa has also become a lot more affectionate and will come for cuddles and actually just sit for a while on our laps which hasn’t happened since she’s been able to move about! She loves a cuddle after her bath too and will join in and try and smother me in cream when I do the same to her after her bath. 

It’s lovely having her toddle around and I could just watch her all day. I can’t quite believe in a year she’s gone from a tiny 5lb10 dot to a (still tiny) little toddler! 

11 Month Update

So much has happened this month, we’ve had our first family holiday (I’ll write a separate blog about that once I get round to it!), I went back to work (again I’ll write a blog about that too!) and I had my first weekend away without Pippa! So overall this month has felt pretty hectic as we’ve also had quite a few bits done to the house (including Pip’s new bedroom – ANOTHER post I need to write!) meaning we lived at my mums for a week too.  
One super big thing happened this month too, Pippa took her first steps! She had been charging around with her walker unaided the week before and then started walking just holding one hand then one day, she was sat on H’s lap on the floor and I was sat opposite and she just got up and walked over to me! We couldn’t believe it and I think the look on our faces made Pippa realise what she was doing too as she hadn’t even noticed that no one was holding her! She’s done a few steps between us since but that’s all, although she loves walking everywhere holding our hand. 

Pippa has also become very affectionate now, not that she wasn’t before but now she comes to us for cuddles and kisses and has become obsessed with her stuffed bunnies, which she’d never turn a blind eye at before! She loves to snuggle and cuddle them which is the cutest! I think another factor is that I’ve gone back to work and she now realises that I leave some mornings so is very cuddly and attached to me.

She’s also really trying to communicate now and knows exactly what she wants! She’s very clued up as to where things are kept such as her food and snacks in my bag or the cupboard or where her cuddly toys are and she will crawl and point to anything she can’t get her hands on! She understands what we are saying too and she does certain things if we ask her too such as ‘come here/come back’ or ‘can I have a kiss’, ‘no’ (which can often cause a tantrum!) among other things!

She loves to play games such as peekaboo or ‘run away from mummy behind the door’ and giggles when I come and find her or ‘pretend to put something off the floor into my mouth and mummy will come running!’ She then proceeds to show me her open mouth with nothing there and laughs. The fact she knows how to trick me at 11 months is slightly worrying for the future!!


Mummy, Pippa & Bunny Reunited
Now that Pippa is well and truly on the move, she’s quite hard work and tiring! She even now has the odd tantrum (I thought I had another year until the tantrums started!?) so I was actually really looking forward to a weekend away in Croatia with the girls just to get a little break! However I was worried about how I would cope without her and really didn’t want the weekend to be ruined by me missing Pippa. But surprisingly I didn’t miss her as much as I thought! I was sent lots of photos by H and kept in constant contact which always helps and I managed to enjoy the weekend without worrying too much. By Sunday I couldn’t wait to see her and once Monday came I just wanted to get home to her before she went to bed. Unfortunately delayed flights and m25 traffic meant I didn’t get to see her properly until Tuesday morning and then I had work but it was great to finally get a cuddle! 

I’m really pleased I managed without her as a few months ago I would have never thought I could do it. However as much as I enjoyed my weekend away, I’m glad it’s not a regular thing!

9 Month Update

In my last update there wasn’t much to report as Pippa had been ill, however this month I feel I have loads to talk about as it seems she’s been making up for the previous month!  
She’s no longer a baby but is turning into a little person and one with a great, cheeky personality. She now understands a lot more and can interact with us to tell us what she wants, particularly with her pointing finger demanding what she wants to play with, what she wants to eat or where she wants to go! Her range of hilarious facial expressions can also tell you exactly what she’s thinking and she does a brilliant shocked face.

She’s also constantly chatting and babbling away and has even said Mama and Dada. She only seems to say mama when she’s angry or crying and wanting me so I don’t actually know if she’s screaming for me or it’s just her being angry! However she says dada and daddy all day long but when Daddy comes in from work she points and gets exciting shouting dada dada so who knows!  

This month she has also become a lot more mobile and as much as I doubted her crawling ability, she is getting there! The problem lies in the fact she would much rather be standing up, cruising around the furniture and as she spends most of the day doing so, she has got very good at it. Therefore the appeal of being floor level just doesn’t cut it so if I’m around she will just cry/scream/whinge and wiggle to me and pull herself up. If I’m not in sight though or if it’s something she really wants (usually my phone or the remote) she will pull herself on her tummy towards it and she can move around in circles quite quickly and easily on her tummy. I think if she worked out how to get her legs up into the crawling position she would be off in a flash but she’s just not getting it so struggles on her tummy for now!


Getting her dressed or changing her nappy has become a real battle as she just flips herself over and wriggles away after the next thing she finds interesting. Keeping her in the cot and even in the buggy is also becoming hard. She can now pull herself up in the cot and can get all over the place in that confined space! I also made the mistake of not strapping her into the buggy last week when I was hoping she would nap but Pips had other ideas…

She was very clingy for a while, not wanting to even go to Daddy and screaming if I wasn’t within inches of her however that has improved as the month has gone on which is rather nice! She’s quite sociable though and will smile at mostly anyone, just men take a bit more getting used to and if that’s the case she’ll give them a little shy smile and bury her head into me!

Pippa also finally has some teeth coming through! They appeared out of nowhere and one day last week I just spotted two little white lines on her bottom gums then a few days later they had just about broken through and are now very sharp! She hasn’t been too bad with them apart from last night when she really was crying in pain for a long time before I had to pick her up, comfort her and cuddle her back to sleep – something I haven’t done since she was 4 months old!! As much as I hate seeing her in pain, it was lovely to have sleepy cuddles again though. Having her a bit grumpy the past few days from her teeth has also made me realise how much of a happy baby she really is and rarely cries at all. People always comment on how smiley and happy she is too which is always lovely to hear. I just hope the teeth don’t cause her too much bother over the next month!

7 Month Update

7 months old

I think I say this every month but Pippa is just developing more and more as the weeks go on. Every week she seems to develop a new skill and it’s amazing to see. She watches everything so carefully, taking everything in and you can see her watching your mouth movements and trying to make the same sounds herself. This also means she doesn’t miss a trick and if I’ve left something in her eye line that she shouldn’t have (e.g. my phone, the tv remote, cups of tea) she makes a b-line!

waving baby

One of the other things that she has picked up is waving! It started off with just a raised hand but she now flaps it about and waves hello and goodbye, or just a little wave to mummy across the room and even waves hello to her new friend in the mirror! Putting her in front of the mirror has certainly become one way to cheer her up if she’s grumpy!

Along with this she now realises that once something has disappeared from sight, doesn’t mean it’s gone forever and she’s now constantly peering round corners if we go out of her sight. Her favourite is peering off her changing mat, out her bedroom door in search for Daddy when he walks past in the morning or peering off my bed into our en-suite when I’ve gone to the toilet (yes, no peace!) She also now sits up and looks at the door when she hears the front door lock go when Daddy gets home from work which is the sweetest thing to watch.

Her personality is also growing and she’s learning to play us very well, whingeing for attention then smiling once she gets it! Also, although she definitely doesn’t know what it means, she now shakes her head from side-to-side in a ‘no’ action which is quite funny when you ask her a question and everything is responded to with a no shake of the head!


However as far as developing in the movement department we are definitely lagging! As she has been sitting up since before 5 months, tummy time no longer has an appeal (not that it ever did!) If I do manage to get her on her front she just throws a paddy and I have to sit her up again so I’m not sure how or when she’s going to learn to crawl! This week however she did realise that on my mum’s hard floor and with no socks on, she could push herself back…we may have a bum shuffler on our hands!


She is however standing really well on her own whilst holding onto things such as the sofa or her jumperoo (this has also lost its appeal except for standing and playing with it from the outside!) and this is ALL she wants to do these days.


Pippa’s weaning continues to come on really well and nothing seems to phase her. We’re now onto three meals a day, porridge in the morning, something I’ve pureed up at lunch time and then more of a baby led weaning/finger food type meal for tea. She absolutely loves feeding herself so the Organix rice cakes and carrot puffs are great for keeping her entertained whilst I clean up at the end of a meal time. She also loves toast and sticks of banana, carrot or broccoli, not that much gets into her mouth!

FullSizeRender (7)

As she has been eating so well we’ve also managed to take her out to a few restaurants for lunch this month as we had a few family birthdays. One of them we were there for 3 hours and she was as happy as anything sat in her highchair, eating, playing and waving at everyone! Long may our happy baby continue!

6 Month Update


Half a year old!! How did that happen! If the next 6 months goes as quick as these past 6 I think I might cry (who am I kidding, I definitely will be crying come August 19th!)
However, as fast as its going, each month I enjoy her more and more as she grows up and learns to interact and her little personality starts to shine through. I love playing with Pippa now as she recognises songs (pat-a-cake, row, row, row your boat and a bit of Spice Girls are particular faves!) and her face lights up as soon as I start singing. ‘Spice Up Your Life’ has even been known to bring her back from the brink of tears! She’s even started dancing this month which is quite hilarious! Another game she enjoys is the ‘throw it and mummy will pick it up’ game, particularly in her high chair and she enjoys pushing over the stacking cups once I’ve built them all up!
Now that Pippa can sit up so well she can also play with her toys more easily on the floor which is great, although we’ve had a few face-plant incidents when she tries to reach too far! She can entertain herself on the floor with her toys for a while which initially I thought was great as I could be in the kitchen washing up or making a cup of tea, however it seems that if I’m remotely out of sight (we have an open plan kitchen/living room!!) she begins to cry or winge and I have to wave and talk to her from a few feet away just to reassure her.
She is also going through a bit of a stage of screaming with any family member other than myself or H at the moment, or if I’m not in her sight. Although she loves to poke and prod their faces from my arms! It even got to the point that she refused to have her milk when I left her with my mum whilst I attended a hospital appointment and she would only drink it once I was back and feeding her, not mum.
Teething trouble also hit this month and we’ve had glowing cheeks, streams of saliva and a very unhappy baby for almost 2 weeks. This week things seemed to have calmed down a little but there was a week where she was waking 6+ times a night and was so unhappy in the day that only calpol would do the trick. Yet, still no teeth.
Although Pippa is only now 6 months old, we started weaning at about 23 weeks. She was constantly making little chewing mouth movements when watching us eat and grabbing anything we were eating so I could see she was ready. And I couldn’t have been more right. She inhaled her first meal of puréed broccoli and the whole eating thing hasn’t phased her at all! We had no gagging, no funny faces, no spitting it out and she is happy to feed herself, albeit a bit messy!
I’m now spending every spare minute puréeing everything in sight and so far we have tried most vegetables and a few fruits and are now starting to mix flavours together. I also let her feed herself with sticks of toast, boiled carrots and even some watermelon this week which she absolutely loves and it can keep her entertained for a while!
I can’t wait to see what more exciting things this month will bring. Pips is desperate to get on the move but I can’t see her crawling any time soon, particularly with her hatred of being on her tummy! Maybe she’ll start bum-shuffling like her mum, we’ll see!

5 Month Update


I’ve always found January a strange month, getting back into the swing of things always takes a while after Christmas. This year has been even worse as three days after H went back to work he sprained his ankle and has been signed off work ever since! So it has kind of felt like the Christmas holidays never ended and our usual routine has not only been thrown off by having H around 24/7 but also by the fact we have been doing sleep training with Pippa and got her into a completely new routine of naps and sleeping!


The sleep training has taken up a lot of this month as it’s a two week intense schedule that has meant we haven’t really been able to go out in order to get Pippa into a good routine. There’s so much to tell, I could write a whole blog on it – which is what I’m going to do! So this will be coming shortly!
Prior to this, Pippa’s sleeping was just getting worse and worse with her waking every 1-2 hours a night. It was like that first month all over again and we had even started going to our parents to nap in the day whilst they had Pippa for a few hours!

However the sleep she has had since has obviously been paying off, as just this week Pippa has started to sit up on her own! She’s now so strong and loves to be sitting or standing…or bouncing now that she has also entered the realms of the jumperoo! A godsend for getting a few minutes in to have a cup of tea!


Just this week, one of my friends with a baby born the same week as Pippa was saying how she suddenly realised she can’t refer to her baby as ‘newborn’ anymore, and she’s so right. Pippa has become a little person now, one that looks up when I call her name, smiles when I enter the room, holds her hands out to touch my face or her dads beard and strokes my arm when I’m feeding her. I absolutely love that we are now getting something back when we interact with her but at the same time it’s bitter sweet how quickly she’s growing up!


As the six month mark is now fast approaching, we’ve began to think about weaning. Before Christmas we were really struggling with Pippa’s feeding as she was still barely taking 3oz with each feed and had dropped off her centile. I thought she would never be ready for weaning as she would barely drink her milk! On a whim we decided to change her formula as she had always been on Aptamil. We had heard good things about Hipp organic so decided to make the switch and within a day of changing, Pippa was guzzling down her 4oz bottles so well that we upped it to 5oz and then later on to 6oz. A couple of weeks later I had Pippa weighed again and she had shot up above her 9th centile line and the rolls on her little legs have been increasing ever since!
So now that Pippa is eating so well I’m really excited to start weaning, especially as her funky chevron highchair arrived today! I’m hoping to do a mix of baby lead weaning and purée but I’m happy to see where the journey takes us!
Don’t forget to vote for me in the UK Blog Awards here, just one week to go!

4 Month Update

This month started off with a lovely surprise, a little cousin for Pippa! Baby Connie was born on H’s birthday, exactly 3 months after Pips so we’re very excited for them to become best buds! Seeing them side by side however just made it so much more amazing to see how much Pippa has grown in just 3 months! 


This month has seen Pippa develop even more and she now loves to be sitting up or standing (with support obviously!) and looking around at everything from these new exciting angles!


Action shot!
She’s also become more mobile and can almost roll from her back to front and just this week managed to roll from her front to back! (You can see video evidence on my Instagram page!) Considering she hates being on her front she’s becoming much better with it now that she’s realised she can roll over and escape it! All this rolling also means she now manages to shift herself around her play mat to reach all her toys and I can put her in one spot and find she’s turned 180 degrees in a few minutes!  

She’s now grabbing everything in sight and putting it straight in her mouth, so Sophie le giraffe has become a firm favourite, particularly now that Pippa is teething. 
A friend actually spotted the tiny white fleck on her gums and pointed out that it was in fact a tooth, which explained a lot! Pippa’s dribbling is incredible and alongside her little red cheeks she’s been quite grumpy at times this month due to her teeth. We’ve opted to use teething granules as these are homeopathic so we aren’t plying her with paracetamol all the time. They work really well and calm her down within minutes which is great.  


Apart from the teething problems, during the day Pippa has turned into such a happy baby and smiles at everyone, worryingly, particularly at men with facial hair!! We also had her first giggle this month which both myself and H witnessed, however she hasn’t done it since!  

Always smiling at bathtime!

She’s now in a pretty solid routine, waking around 7.30-8.30am with naps at 10/11ish, 1/2ish and 4/5ish lasting between 20 and 40 minutes each. Unfortunately though, Pippa still likes to fight her sleep and I have to rock and pat her whilst she screams for 5 minutes before she drops off each time! She also feeds every 3 hours and although we try to push this to 4, she doesn’t eat much at a time so I really struggle to do so! We then bath her at 7pm every other night and take her into her bedroom for a story and a warm feed at 7.30 to send her off to sleep.

Her little and often way of feeding has however become a bit of a problem at night, never filling herself up enough to go more than 4 hours at a time, so we are still feeding 3-4 times a night and she is by far the worst sleeper of all the babies we know! Halfway through this month we then hit the dreaded ‘four month sleep regression’!

 I hadn’t heard of it until a friend mentioned it and after nearly a week of Pippa waking every 15-30mins and only sleeping for 1-2 hours at a time, I googled it and Pippa had all the signs! It turns out babies sleep patterns change around 4 months into a more adult cycle, taking them longer to go into a deep sleep and therefore waking whenever you put them down or move them.  

You and me both Pips!

Pippa’s sleeping was never good to begin with but this was hell and we were having worse nights than H’s sister with her 3 week old! I very nearly purchased a sleepyhead as I’d heard such good things however as she was already nearly 4 months and had been sleeping ok in her cot without it for a while, I decided to improvise. Instead I rolled two towels and put them under the sheet to create a little nest. I also then put my dressing gown over the top so that it smelt of me and would hopefully keep Pippa reassured that I was near.

Amazingly it worked!!! We had our best night’s sleep ever and she only woke twice for a feed. We’ve now had four nights of by no means perfect, but much better sleep. Hopefully this ‘sleep regression’ has now passed after a horrible couple of weeks and just today Pippa has started eating double what she had been so here’s to it meaning she’ll sleep a bit longer…especially with Christmas just around the corner!

3 Month Update

I’m beginning to realise how much difference a month can make in a baby. Pippa has grown up so much in the last month and I can see her character and personality beginning to shine through. She’s definitely no longer a little baby and as a result she’s beginning to fall into a little routine of eating, sleeping (hmm well we try!) and play time. I can now read her like a book and can recognise her different cries and what she wants when which has made things much easier!

baby tummy time
Not impressed with more tummy time!

It seems amazing that only last month we got her first smiles and now she smiles every time she sees Harry or I and is so responsive. We’re even nearly getting some giggles – it’s so close! She’s also started babbling now which is just adorable. She now plays and interacts with her play mat, kicking and batting the various bells and rattles whilst looking intently at herself in the mirror above. She’s still not so hot with tummy time though so we’ve been trying to do that a bit more on her tummy time mat! Her head however is getting much stronger and she loves to stand on my lap or sit up, looking at everything around her from this new angle!

baby swimming lessons puddleducks

This month we have also started swimming lessons! So far we have been to two lessons, H did the first one (luckily, as I was a bit nervous myself!) and I did the second. She isn’t too sure but she’s successfully been dunked without too much of a fuss and doesn’t really mind water over her head.

3 month baby update
sleepy cuddles are the best though!

The only issue we are still having is her sleeping. This month hasn’t been great and she often wakes numerous times during the night, sometimes every hour! She developed eczema earlier in the month so she was waking herself up scratching. She also barely naps in the day, will only fall asleep on me and when she’s put down, wakes straight up. Because of this, and the fact she’s fast growing out of her moses basket, we decided to move her into her cot in her own room early at 12 weeks. I started off putting her down for naps in the cot to get used to it which was more of a success than I thought it would be and we managed a few 40 minute naps which was a miracle! However night times were a different matter and it seemed the big open space she was now sleeping in didn’t go down very well so currently she is in her moses basket, in the cot. At least it is a step in the right direction, it will just be a case of gradually getting her used to not being inside a cosy little cocoon. Once we have it mastered I’ll write a post on how it all went.

Another issue that has arisen very recently, around the 11-12 week mark, is Pippa’s clinginess towards me. I don’t know if it’s the fact that I know exactly how to soothe her or she’s just more used to being around me but she will scream and scream with H and then as soon as I take over she will stop and be all smiles! She also likes to be able to see me so I have to move her around the room with me in her bouncy chair! To go along with this clinginess, I’ve realised she doesn’t like crowds very much and becomes very upset. We had a couple of events and parties this month which she cried her way through most of but once she was taken into a quiet room and given time to kick around on her own she was fine!

baby cold poorly
A poorly Pips!

Pippa also caught her first cold this month which has been a very sad affair! It coincided with her 12 week jabs too so she was rather unhappy for a couple of days and didn’t sleep well at all due to a blocked nose. However it was inevitable she would catch one sooner or later with all the baby groups we go to, it just so happens this one was caught from her father! A week later she is still getting over it with a slight little cough and sniffles but I’m glad she’s back to herself again!

2 Month Update


Month 2 has definitely been sooo much easier than month 1 so things do get easier!

At the start of the month the health visitors were still slightly concerned about Pippa’s feeding as she wasn’t taking much more than 2oz and we were still struggling massively with her crying, fussing and in pain during and after feeds, not to mention the times when she would vomit it all back up again! It was at this point that she was diagnosed with reflux and referred to the doctor who put her on ranitidine and things then started to get easier almost instantly. It was as if Pippa transformed overnight and we suddenly had a happy, content baby and discovered that this was actually what a normal month old baby should be like!

This resulted in Pippa sleeping much better, without having to be upright over my shoulder and she has started to go 4, 5 and even 6 hours once throughout the night which has made us all much happier and feeling normal again. I would say that it was at about 4 or 5 weeks where I did actually start to feel normal again and with Pippa’s feeds now stretching about 3 hours, going out has also become so much easier, so much so that I find I now need to go out every day so as not to go stir crazy!

Excuse the crusty cradle cap!
Our new happy baby also meant smiles! It was great to wake up the first morning, peer over her moses basket to see her smile back! Morning smiles are now a daily occurrence and we occasionally get little smiles throughout the day too – not long till giggles I hope!


H also had a lot of time off work this month so it was lovely to spend time as a family now that we were all feeling much better about life! We even took a trip to get a tattoo, myself getting a P for Pippa on my wrist and H getting the number 19 (myself, H and Pippa’s birth date) in roman numerals on his inner, upper arm.

The only problem with getting out and about so much was that I barely had time to express which then meant that my milk started to dry up pretty rapidly and with Pippa now taking more at her feeds, I could barely keep up. We started to dip into our frozen supplies to make it up however I have now had to make the difficult decision to stop expressing and move Pippa onto formula exclusively. As much as I don’t want to give it up, the little milk I’m now producing isn’t filling Pippa up, therefore we have started weaning her off gradually, giving her less breast milk feeds each day until Friday when she had the last of the frozen supplies. However, I’m happy that I have given her two months’ worth of my milk and it will make things much easier for myself without having to come home or get up during the night to express.


This month I have also managed to leave Pippa with Harry a couple of times, once to get my hair cut and another for a much needed meal out with the girls. However, as much as it was needed, I still cried all day and felt so anxious without her and couldn’t wait to come back home for some cuddles. But it had to be done and I now know that Pippa is fine without me, we are even leaving her for a whole day with her grandparents today when we go on (another much needed) spa day for my birthday.

It’s amazing how much Pippa has changed in just a month. Even at 8 weeks she doesn’t seem like a newborn anymore and the more she starts to interact the more fun it gets so I can’t wait for what’s to come in month 3!

The First Month with a Newborn

1 month old baby

The fact this blog is 2 weeks late and Pippa is now 6 weeks old just explains 1) How quick time is going and 2) How little time I now have on my hands! Much of the first month has been a bit of a hazy, tired blur filled with many tears but I wouldn’t change it for the world and I’m now glad I’m finally coming out the other side.

Everyone tells you it will be hard and ‘nothing can prepare you’ and you think yeah yeah I know. Well, they’re right. Absolutely nothing can prepare you, it’s a tiredness you’ve never experienced and such a huge change to your life.

After an overnight labour and not sleeping a wink the following night on a ward of crying babies, by the time we got home I was already hugely sleep deprived. Pippa was then cluster feeding all night and day the following few nights; I remember one night not hitting the pillow until 6.30am. Luckily my body recovered extremely quickly. I barely had any bleeding or pain considering I had stitches and I was back to my pre-pregnancy weight within two weeks, so at least I didn’t have any of that to content with on top of everything else!


I found that Pippa would only sleep when she was on my chest or in my arms but I was so terrified to fall asleep with her there in case something awful happened. However in my sleep deprived state it didn’t stop me waking up every time thinking she was still in my arms and I’d smothered her. Possibly the worst feeling to wake up to numerous times during the night! I still occasionally wake up wondering where she is but I’m much less panicked now and after inevitably falling asleep with her on my chest a few times now I know I wouldn’t smother her and I’m very conscious that she’s there.

Another large part of the first month were the visitors. I made the mistake early on of thinking ‘kill as many birds with one stone’ and invite everyone at once. That was definitely the wrong decision after 6 members of my family came in one go, resulting in me in floods of tears as they left. It was overwhelming enough without the addition of Pippa being passed around hundreds of people. On a couple of occasions we had to cancel visitors as I simply couldn’t handle it after a day of tears and sleep deprivation.

What I was faced with majority of the first month!
The emotions (and the tears that come with them) are also something else! We were told about the baby blues so I was expecting them to kick in about day 3 and to be a bit emotional for a couple of days. But what I experienced was certainly not what I expected. I had overwhelming feelings of anxiety for at least 10 days that would fill me with fear about going out and even thinking about going out would leave me in tears. Our first trip out to Tesco’s on day 5 ended in tears before we’d even got through the entrance!

I felt extremely low, the lowest I’ve ever felt and found myself googling the symptoms of postnatal depression after one of my worst nights. This particular night I was hysterical all night and genuinely believed social services needed to be called to take Pippa away as I was obviously incapable of looking after her. The health visitor luckily picked up on this after I couldn’t stop crying in front of her, so she paid me a couple of extra visits in those first couple of weeks and her reassurance definitely helped.


I thought I would never feel normal again but after 2 weeks and deciding to no longer breastfeed, a weight was lifted and it seemed my hormones had begun to settle. Luckily this happened just before Harry went back to work and we were able to get out with friends which showed me that normal life can continue and that nothing would happen to Pippa if we left the house!

I still had lots of wobbles, particularly in the first week without Harry but my mum has been amazing. Living just 5 minutes away she regularly pops in just to take Pippa off my hands for half an hour to let me express or she will help with cleaning and has provided a few dinners too! These little things become the most appreciated when you don’t have 5 minutes to yourself anymore!


I’ve now nearly mastered the art of doing everything one handed, baby in the other, and showering in less than 5 minutes. Pippa and I have started to settle into a routine and we have a very active social life which makes the days fly by and Harry is home before I know it.

Hopefully things will continue to get easier, that’s what everyone tells you. However I should know by now that what people tell you and reality are somewhat different!